What I'm Supposed To Keep To Myself

captainjaymerica:

If I hear another Ariana Grande or Iggy Azalea song from my niece, I’m removing her from the family tree and making her get her own damn house.

aradiator:

i hate when people say that women should dress more modestly in order to “leave something to the imagination”. leave what to the imagination? what do people think is under my clothes? a mass of algae? memes? shinji ikari?

(via gainsgoddess)

meladoodle:

today i had to work for vaseline and try get people to try their new ‘spray and go’ moisturiser. it was such a hilarious experience. my job was to squirt strangers…. also offering someone moisturiser is just so funny. ‘hey mate, you look a bit chafey over there’ ‘hey, ol flakey face, let me spray this stuff on you’ ‘hey are you busy? i have some vaseline here that i can lube you up with’

meladoodle:

today i had to work for vaseline and try get people to try their new ‘spray and go’ moisturiser. it was such a hilarious experience. my job was to squirt strangers…. also offering someone moisturiser is just so funny. ‘hey mate, you look a bit chafey over there’ ‘hey, ol flakey face, let me spray this stuff on you’ ‘hey are you busy? i have some vaseline here that i can lube you up with’